One of my very old friends has it. She moved away years ago, and yet somehow we stayed in touch. She calls me her best friend but the truth is we don't know each other very well.
In conversations with her over the years she began to change. I couldn't argue with her and as I was over a thousand miles away I didn't see much reason to. Her life was hectic and unstable so I thought the best thing I could do was be there for her. Still it was tiring. We never talked about me, it was always about her.
But then she was miles away, a voice on the phone once a month. So I didn't think it was much to give up; an hour once a month. What was that compared the hell I knew she went through, even it was she who put her through it?
And then the diagnosis came: B.P.D. and it explained everything.
Still I was there.
Years passed and she complained that the medications and pshyciatry did not do anything for her. Boyfriends shifted threw her hands so fast I could not keep up, and still I was there, a voice on the phone.
And then a ray of hope; a steady boyfriend, and engadgment. I didn't know the man, he did not have a very shiny past but so far at least he seemed to treat Amanda well and he offered her a way out, love and a home. And so I hoped, built him up in my mind and awaited the end of my telephonic babysitting. They came and visited me on their way to the farm he'd inherited. She was worse than I thought, with her B.P.D., and he was not much more mature. The woman in the car with them, though I doubt half the acccusations they leveled at her were valid, was not much more smarter. And I know this won't end now and I can't see a way out of this for her. She needs to go home, take her medicine and I need to stop playing the ideal for her, and argue back. I'm tired of this and I'm not sure I have done anything for her except reaffirm the illusions she's built around her. I don't know how to deal with B.P.D.
I'm tired of getting off the phone and realizing I couldn't say anything to her without hearing loud ceaseless yells. And frankly, I'm no good at argueing with children.
I'm not angry with her, its a fact. She is a child, she is mentally unstable and cannot help it, and I cannot help her.
I dread breaking this off though. There is no reason in her that I can appeal to and she will end up hateing me and blaming either herself or other people. Hopefully her fiance can comfort her but I wish I could make her go home and take her medicine. This is like my last boyfriend! Why is it I attract all these deadbeat relationships?! Helpless people I can't help clinging to me for helpless comfort, and yet if I broke them all off people would call me mean and a few of them would threaten suicide .
Should I just break off all these sham friendships? Some of these people I appreciate I just don't have anything in common with them, don't enjoy their company. It's spent pleasing them, building them up, they can't help it their the helpless ones. I just don't want to be a phyciatrist. I want to be an artist, a writer.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
We're having a baby!!
"I need to talk to you," is how my mother began.
"We have some BIG news"
"What?" I ask
And then rubbing her belly she says, "We're going to have a baby in the family"
I laughed at her.
and then she told me the truth, its my Aunt Maggie's and Uncle John's.
They are 5 weeks along, which means that my newest cousin was conceived in Memphis!
I think his name should be Elvis.
PLEASE EVERYBODY PRAY FOR ELVIS!! that he gets here safely, and is a whole and healthy baby. (and if God could squeeze in a Pricilla there I wouldn't complain either)
I just want to ask, who was thrown off by my tittle? Did I get anyone??
"We have some BIG news"
"What?" I ask
And then rubbing her belly she says, "We're going to have a baby in the family"
I laughed at her.
and then she told me the truth, its my Aunt Maggie's and Uncle John's.
They are 5 weeks along, which means that my newest cousin was conceived in Memphis!
I think his name should be Elvis.
PLEASE EVERYBODY PRAY FOR ELVIS!! that he gets here safely, and is a whole and healthy baby. (and if God could squeeze in a Pricilla there I wouldn't complain either)
I just want to ask, who was thrown off by my tittle? Did I get anyone??
Friday, December 12, 2008
Generation Gap
While listening to N.P.R. today I heard a very interesting movie review. In it, the reporter drew parallels between the three movies; The Reader, Doubt, and Gran Torino. The reporter says that the movies characterized the elders as intolerant and unfeeling, but that the new generation is "damaged, compromised, not necessarily a better guide to morality" as well. The exception, the reporter says, is in Gran Torino, (staring Clint Eastwood) where a bitter, racist, old veteran becomes a neighborhood hero when he breaks up a gang fight and inadvertently helps his Chinese immigrant neighbors. "He becomes for them what our society once valued, and what theirs still does; the wise protective elder capable of routing gangs and knowing instinctively what's right." That was what the reporter said anyway.
It made me think about my own evolving relationship with my parents. I have always been on relatively good terms with my parents and I have always valued their advice. Lately thought the true value of it seems to have gone down.
Even before I left for college I could tell things were changing. Their advice became less and less helpful and more and more hurtful. My relationship with my boyfriend for example, became something I felt unable to speak about. My boyfriend is a Catholic and I was raised a Protestant. When my parents realized how serious we were (we've been dating now for a year and a half now :)) they began to worry that I would marry into a mixed religion marriage. They fostered fears of marital problems, religiously confused or (perhaps worse for the alieness of it) Catholic grandchildren. (is alieness a word?) Even worse, I might turn Catholic myself. Their fear reflected itself in small worries about the very nature of our relationship. Whenever I came to them for advice my Mother sowed her worries into me. Then I would go and talk about it with my boyfriend, we might even have a spat over it, but every time I would eventually realize these worries were groundless.
Since I've stopped coming to them for advice so much the problems have stopped but I still miss them.
What I desperately wish I had, is a wise old elder, with a instinctual sense of right and wrong (and a good knowledge of Catholic and Protestant theology), who could talk to me calmly without judgement, and lead me to the truth.
Instead I find I have to defend myself and hide my thoughts from the whole world, and simultaneously find my way in the dark. Is this what it means to be a grown-up?
Where's Clint Eastwood when you need him?
It made me think about my own evolving relationship with my parents. I have always been on relatively good terms with my parents and I have always valued their advice. Lately thought the true value of it seems to have gone down.
Even before I left for college I could tell things were changing. Their advice became less and less helpful and more and more hurtful. My relationship with my boyfriend for example, became something I felt unable to speak about. My boyfriend is a Catholic and I was raised a Protestant. When my parents realized how serious we were (we've been dating now for a year and a half now :)) they began to worry that I would marry into a mixed religion marriage. They fostered fears of marital problems, religiously confused or (perhaps worse for the alieness of it) Catholic grandchildren. (is alieness a word?) Even worse, I might turn Catholic myself. Their fear reflected itself in small worries about the very nature of our relationship. Whenever I came to them for advice my Mother sowed her worries into me. Then I would go and talk about it with my boyfriend, we might even have a spat over it, but every time I would eventually realize these worries were groundless.
Since I've stopped coming to them for advice so much the problems have stopped but I still miss them.
What I desperately wish I had, is a wise old elder, with a instinctual sense of right and wrong (and a good knowledge of Catholic and Protestant theology), who could talk to me calmly without judgement, and lead me to the truth.
Instead I find I have to defend myself and hide my thoughts from the whole world, and simultaneously find my way in the dark. Is this what it means to be a grown-up?
Where's Clint Eastwood when you need him?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Why I am boycotting Coka-Cola
When I told my mom I was boycotting coke it looked as though she were going to laugh at me. Boycotting was something that crazy vegetarians, hippies, and liberals did, not something any reasonable person would do. Yet is because it is reasonable that I do it.
But I also know that no reasonable person will listen to me unless I back up my claims, so, ahead of time, here is the evidence:
ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e53-daB4E-Q
http://www.corporatecampaign.org/killer-coke/crimes-isidro.htm
http://www.commondreams.org/news2008/0814-11.htm
http://www.hrw.org/en/news/2004/06/09/el-salvador-child-labor-sugar-plantations
There is a whole lot more proof out there, but basicly I tried to post links that cover Coke's offenses in Columbia, India and El Salvador.
In Columbia Coke has repeatedly hired paramilatary thugs to kill union leaders and threaten workers not to join. Nine Union Leaders have been killed so far. If their families were not killed with them they are now in hiding.
Some people here in the USA make the argument that unions hurt more than they help, that workers do not need to worry about being treated fairly by their employers because the government's regulatory laws keep the companies in check (ironicly these same people who make this claim are often for the deregulation of the economy)
I do not agree with them and there is a lot of proof behind my claim, but that is a fight for another day. Today we are talking about Coke and Columbia, where the government has no regulation of companies in an effort to attract jobs. They are getting them alright, but with severely low pay and poor working conditions. When the workers try to band together Coke hires the same paramilataries that distablize the Columbian government to keep the workers from unionizing. And we wonder why people hate America when our ambassador companies treat them like shit?
Boycotting coke is simply part of being an active citizen, the same as voting. We need to ensure that our US based companies aren't making us enemies or commiting human rights violations.
We do not have a vote outside of our country, we only have buying power. Our buying power is our vote.
The next country where our dear American classic is acting up is in India. The factories in India are regularly accused of using up too much water and drain several wells that Indian farmers rely on. They have also been found guilty of having one to many pesticides in their Indian distributed sodas, where regulations are lax. To top it all off they have also been selling their waste products to unsuspecting farmers as a fertilizer. This poisons the crops as well as the soil. This comes back to haunt us at home when the USA imports food and spices from India.
Last of all: El Salvador. A sugar company there has been accused by Human Rights Watch of using child labor in the sugar cane feilds which the hummanitarian organization classiflys as extremely dangerous work.
To those unfeeling people who claim that it is the parent's fault for sending their kids to work instead of school, ask yourself if they would rather their child starve. Often times the family need the pay the child earns. They would not have to send their child to work if the USA pressured their companies there to give their adult workers fair wages. Then the children could eat and go to school. I do not think that any feeling parent wants to send their child to the sugar canes where they know they will be forever because of the lost schooling. But a unfed belly is a need thats more imminent.
Coke a Cola is the biggest buyer of sugar from this very company.
Some will tell me that if I intend on boycotting Coke then I should just boycott every company that acts up. I agree. I am trying to become more consumer aware. I am also boycotting Walmart and am looking into Hershey's. If any of you have further suggestions I would be grateful. I am not perfect in using my consumer power but I am in the process of getting there.
If I have convinced any of you then you should know that Coke also makes these products:
-Dasani Water
-Minete Maid Juice
- Dr. Pepper
Many highschools and colleges have moved to bane coke from their campuses. This is the most effective way to get Coke's attention because the company considers young people to be its primary audience. If they can get us to like them at a young age they figure they'll have us forever.
Here is a link to a list of schools that are banning Coke:
http://www.killercoke.org/active-in-campaign.htm
Also, if you are interested in trying to ban Coke from your school, then www.killercoke.org/ has resources available and a step by step guide of how to do just that.
But I also know that no reasonable person will listen to me unless I back up my claims, so, ahead of time, here is the evidence:
ttp://www.youtube.com/watc
http://www.corporatecampai
http://www.commondreams.or
http://www.hrw.org/en/news
There is a whole lot more proof out there, but basicly I tried to post links that cover Coke's offenses in Columbia, India and El Salvador.
In Columbia Coke has repeatedly hired paramilatary thugs to kill union leaders and threaten workers not to join. Nine Union Leaders have been killed so far. If their families were not killed with them they are now in hiding.
Some people here in the USA make the argument that unions hurt more than they help, that workers do not need to worry about being treated fairly by their employers because the government's regulatory laws keep the companies in check (ironicly these same people who make this claim are often for the deregulation of the economy)
I do not agree with them and there is a lot of proof behind my claim, but that is a fight for another day. Today we are talking about Coke and Columbia, where the government has no regulation of companies in an effort to attract jobs. They are getting them alright, but with severely low pay and poor working conditions. When the workers try to band together Coke hires the same paramilataries that distablize the Columbian government to keep the workers from unionizing. And we wonder why people hate America when our ambassador companies treat them like shit?
Boycotting coke is simply part of being an active citizen, the same as voting. We need to ensure that our US based companies aren't making us enemies or commiting human rights violations.
We do not have a vote outside of our country, we only have buying power. Our buying power is our vote.
The next country where our dear American classic is acting up is in India. The factories in India are regularly accused of using up too much water and drain several wells that Indian farmers rely on. They have also been found guilty of having one to many pesticides in their Indian distributed sodas, where regulations are lax. To top it all off they have also been selling their waste products to unsuspecting farmers as a fertilizer. This poisons the crops as well as the soil. This comes back to haunt us at home when the USA imports food and spices from India.
Last of all: El Salvador. A sugar company there has been accused by Human Rights Watch of using child labor in the sugar cane feilds which the hummanitarian organization classiflys as extremely dangerous work.
To those unfeeling people who claim that it is the parent's fault for sending their kids to work instead of school, ask yourself if they would rather their child starve. Often times the family need the pay the child earns. They would not have to send their child to work if the USA pressured their companies there to give their adult workers fair wages. Then the children could eat and go to school. I do not think that any feeling parent wants to send their child to the sugar canes where they know they will be forever because of the lost schooling. But a unfed belly is a need thats more imminent.
Coke a Cola is the biggest buyer of sugar from this very company.
Some will tell me that if I intend on boycotting Coke then I should just boycott every company that acts up. I agree. I am trying to become more consumer aware. I am also boycotting Walmart and am looking into Hershey's. If any of you have further suggestions I would be grateful. I am not perfect in using my consumer power but I am in the process of getting there.
If I have convinced any of you then you should know that Coke also makes these products:
-Dasani Water
-Minete Maid Juice
- Dr. Pepper
Many highschools and colleges have moved to bane coke from their campuses. This is the most effective way to get Coke's attention because the company considers young people to be its primary audience. If they can get us to like them at a young age they figure they'll have us forever.
Here is a link to a list of schools that are banning Coke:
http://www.killercoke.org/
Also, if you are interested in trying to ban Coke from your school, then www.killercoke.org/ has resources available and a step by step guide of how to do just that.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
An Equalist feminist
I love being back home. It is so warm that I can actually enjoy the outdoors. It is beautiful in Chattanooga, but so cold that I can't seem to enjoy it-- and its not even snowing yet! (I don't know how you survive Dema) It may just be because until now I did not have a coat. (I had left it here at home)
I was sitting with two of my friends yesterday, when we began to talk about Feminism. Both of these girls I thought were anti-feminists but, I was surprised to find myself mistaken. As we discussed our views of feminism one of my friends suggested a new name for our particular brand of philosophy: Equalism.
This, I think, is a perfect name for it. (For any questions about the definition of it, see my last blog:Feminism a word Bomb bigger than Nuke)
I was sitting with two of my friends yesterday, when we began to talk about Feminism. Both of these girls I thought were anti-feminists but, I was surprised to find myself mistaken. As we discussed our views of feminism one of my friends suggested a new name for our particular brand of philosophy: Equalism.
This, I think, is a perfect name for it. (For any questions about the definition of it, see my last blog:Feminism a word Bomb bigger than Nuke)
Monday, November 10, 2008
I don't know if I believe in the church anymore...
I've not believed in the church for a long time actually. How could I? As a Protestant I've seen the billions of factions of churches, splitting over things like whether we should clap in church or put a table cloth over the communion (Eucharist for those who don't know).
I lost faith in the church a long time ago.
When I think of "Church" I simply think of the millions of Christians everywhere in the world, connected simply by our love of Christ and our struggles to be like him.
Even the Catholic church looks like a big denomination sometimes. The Twelve Tribes though, (those christian hippies next door) seem to question my salvation because
1. I have not given up all earthly materials to follow him
2. I am not a part of their "true church"
True, I have not given up all earthly materials to follow him, but I looking for a way to. That's why I visit them in the first place, why I want to visit The Simple Way in Philadelphia. I do not think I can be accused of not trying.
About number 2, I know what happened to me when I was eight years old. I don't mean to sound proud but I know that God is with me. He's never given me any reason to doubt that.
I'm not saying that I am always with him, that I am always perfect. I am human after all, but I've seen the stepping stones He's put at my feet, felt him in my heart. I know that he is what directs the purposes of my life. If he told me to go to leave this country and go I would cry for joy as I packed, that he would send me of all people.
And about the church? So many people have asked God to show them it, and I am not so proud as to assume that he'll whisper the secret only to me. For now at least I reach out to my brothers standing at arms length.
Therefore since we are surrounded my such a great cloud of witness I will reach out for the brothers nearest to me and trace the tangled paths on interlocked hands and fingers, hoping that blind as I am I will find the center.
And yet, though I cannot see the forest for the trees, I can see the sap running through each limb and trunk, a fountain of life to connect us all, a Holy Spirit to take us from these fleshly shackles and bring us to the author and perfecter of our faith so that we may finally fix our eyes on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy sat before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
God give me heart!
I lost faith in the church a long time ago.
When I think of "Church" I simply think of the millions of Christians everywhere in the world, connected simply by our love of Christ and our struggles to be like him.
Even the Catholic church looks like a big denomination sometimes. The Twelve Tribes though, (those christian hippies next door) seem to question my salvation because
1. I have not given up all earthly materials to follow him
2. I am not a part of their "true church"
True, I have not given up all earthly materials to follow him, but I looking for a way to. That's why I visit them in the first place, why I want to visit The Simple Way in Philadelphia. I do not think I can be accused of not trying.
About number 2, I know what happened to me when I was eight years old. I don't mean to sound proud but I know that God is with me. He's never given me any reason to doubt that.
I'm not saying that I am always with him, that I am always perfect. I am human after all, but I've seen the stepping stones He's put at my feet, felt him in my heart. I know that he is what directs the purposes of my life. If he told me to go to leave this country and go I would cry for joy as I packed, that he would send me of all people.
And about the church? So many people have asked God to show them it, and I am not so proud as to assume that he'll whisper the secret only to me. For now at least I reach out to my brothers standing at arms length.
Therefore since we are surrounded my such a great cloud of witness I will reach out for the brothers nearest to me and trace the tangled paths on interlocked hands and fingers, hoping that blind as I am I will find the center.
And yet, though I cannot see the forest for the trees, I can see the sap running through each limb and trunk, a fountain of life to connect us all, a Holy Spirit to take us from these fleshly shackles and bring us to the author and perfecter of our faith so that we may finally fix our eyes on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:1-3
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy sat before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
God give me heart!
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
And Here is the Culmination of the Audacity of Our Hope
I didn't hear it from the news. Shouts came in my dorm room window, and I saw a few black men jumping and dancing in the streets. My republican friend called me and said "You won" and then hung up on me. I checked the TV, and yes, it actually happened. All the black people and a lot of whites in my dorm complex were outside, screaming, crying, dancing and whooping.
The police had to break them up after a while, and at a few other dorm complexes, but nobody cares. We're all too happy.
I never realized how much this meant to the blacks, until tonight.
And to think, just yesterday, my boss was swearing that McCain would win because this country was just too prejudiced. (He is a Palestinian)
I feel so-- not happy-- I know to much of the world to expect the fulfillment of all my dreams, no, I feel,... hopeful.
(And to all those republicans out there who think the world is going to shit, don't loose heart, that's what toilet paper is for.)
The police had to break them up after a while, and at a few other dorm complexes, but nobody cares. We're all too happy.
I never realized how much this meant to the blacks, until tonight.
And to think, just yesterday, my boss was swearing that McCain would win because this country was just too prejudiced. (He is a Palestinian)
I feel so-- not happy-- I know to much of the world to expect the fulfillment of all my dreams, no, I feel,... hopeful.
(And to all those republicans out there who think the world is going to shit, don't loose heart, that's what toilet paper is for.)
"Feminsim," a word bomb bigger than "Nuke"
I was at the Yellow Deli (restaurant the hippies own) tonight, at one of their open forems ( place where the curious can learn about their beliefs or just talk general philosophy and theology, which is usually what happens)
I made the mistake of mentioning I was a feminist.
Its always a mistake to mention I'm a feminist! The first thing people do, especially men, is make some stupid feminist joke to see if they can get me riled up." HA HA HA like I haven't heard that one before!" is what runs through my head.
They treat the issue like its some big joke, they don't take me seriously. So instead of getting angry and annoyed I just try to make myself laugh with them because one thing life has taught me is that people don't take you seriously if you get angry in a debate.
Feminism is a term that is majorly misunderstood. Feminism is about ENDING the War of the Sexes, ending this power struggle between us.
First men thought they were more powerful than women, so women set about proving them wrong-- this was the first step in the feminist movement
But it back-lashed. Once women began to show men they could do the same things the men thought their power was in jeopardy and felt they had to me even more macho, powerful.
They, men today, don't understand that true feminism isn't about the women having MORE power than men, its about taking the issue of power out of the equation entirely so that men and women can experience the full relationship of PARTNERS
Because, however much culture may tell us, Men, are NOT all powerful, and Women aren't all beautiful, or perfect, or insert any stereotypical adjective.
We- Are- Human! Why can't we look at each other straight in the eyes for once instead of glorifying this image of one being taller or shorter than the other?
True, feminist goals do include giving women fair wages and opportunities
but like all civil rights issues its about freeing the man and women from stereotypes and fixed ways and opportunities of being so that all humans, men AND women can experience their full potential without feeling as though they HAVE to be good at sports or wear makeup or anything.
Feminism is as much about freeing the man as it is freeing the woman.
I wanted my friends at the yellow deli to understand this, but they are very traditional in their roles.
One man, the leader of the forum, said that women could do the same jobs as men could but that he wouldn't put a women out a work-site with a jackhammer or anything, the explanation being that most women wouldn't be strong enough.
I don't doubt that most women in this culture would be strong enough, with everyone telling them that super muscular women were somehow ugly or unfeminine. Its the same way that white people would say that blacks were stupid, all the while refusing them a proper education.
But the fact is that if a woman IS strong, enough, and enjoys construction why shouldn't she do it?
Isn't this the same thinking that barred women from becoming doctors or professors or soldiers?
It sickens me that these are men I respect. Depresses is perhaps a better term. Because with an attitude like this, where they don't even take the issue seriously, what is the next course for feminism?
I doubt chaining myself to a building would change their attitude, change their mind.
Because even more than fair wages this is a war for the mind, for the freedom of the mind.
I made the mistake of mentioning I was a feminist.
Its always a mistake to mention I'm a feminist! The first thing people do, especially men, is make some stupid feminist joke to see if they can get me riled up." HA HA HA like I haven't heard that one before!" is what runs through my head.
They treat the issue like its some big joke, they don't take me seriously. So instead of getting angry and annoyed I just try to make myself laugh with them because one thing life has taught me is that people don't take you seriously if you get angry in a debate.
Feminism is a term that is majorly misunderstood. Feminism is about ENDING the War of the Sexes, ending this power struggle between us.
First men thought they were more powerful than women, so women set about proving them wrong-- this was the first step in the feminist movement
But it back-lashed. Once women began to show men they could do the same things the men thought their power was in jeopardy and felt they had to me even more macho, powerful.
They, men today, don't understand that true feminism isn't about the women having MORE power than men, its about taking the issue of power out of the equation entirely so that men and women can experience the full relationship of PARTNERS
Because, however much culture may tell us, Men, are NOT all powerful, and Women aren't all beautiful, or perfect, or insert any stereotypical adjective.
We- Are- Human! Why can't we look at each other straight in the eyes for once instead of glorifying this image of one being taller or shorter than the other?
True, feminist goals do include giving women fair wages and opportunities
but like all civil rights issues its about freeing the man and women from stereotypes and fixed ways and opportunities of being so that all humans, men AND women can experience their full potential without feeling as though they HAVE to be good at sports or wear makeup or anything.
Feminism is as much about freeing the man as it is freeing the woman.
I wanted my friends at the yellow deli to understand this, but they are very traditional in their roles.
One man, the leader of the forum, said that women could do the same jobs as men could but that he wouldn't put a women out a work-site with a jackhammer or anything, the explanation being that most women wouldn't be strong enough.
I don't doubt that most women in this culture would be strong enough, with everyone telling them that super muscular women were somehow ugly or unfeminine. Its the same way that white people would say that blacks were stupid, all the while refusing them a proper education.
But the fact is that if a woman IS strong, enough, and enjoys construction why shouldn't she do it?
Isn't this the same thinking that barred women from becoming doctors or professors or soldiers?
It sickens me that these are men I respect. Depresses is perhaps a better term. Because with an attitude like this, where they don't even take the issue seriously, what is the next course for feminism?
I doubt chaining myself to a building would change their attitude, change their mind.
Because even more than fair wages this is a war for the mind, for the freedom of the mind.
Monday, November 3, 2008
My Religious Education : Hippies Hobos and Catholics
The University of Tennessee and Chattanooga is NOT a christian college, it is very
secular. In the middle of campus you'll be hard pressed to find a " cool" reputation among Christians, except within their own little circles.
The fads in the middle of campus are smoking, chanting "Obama-Obama!",
smoking, scanning the ground for precious quarters, smoking, going to frat parties designed to get the girls into the most lecherous costumes available, and, you guessed it!;
questioning God (closely followed by smoking). There was even a seminar by a professor here lectured about how nobody in their right mind would want to go to heaven.
But on the fringes of the campus you'll find something different. There are actually,
a lot of christian groups here. I made the mistake of trying to visit every single one.
I did not suceed but I got at least half way there. Now I have friends in several
different groups, all of whom invite me to their events. I love God but I don't like
being that busy so I've had to turn a lot of them down. I'm involved with three major
ones: CRU, Young Life, and the Christian Student Center. They are the usual mix
of different denominational cultures you'd run into among the Memphis Youth
Groups.
But here is where I digress from the usual. I will list them in order of their oddity:
- R.C.I.A.
- Homeless Church
- The hippie commune
About R.C.I.A., - its a catholic class for people who either want to become or are just
curious about Catholicism. Most of you know that my boyfriend is Catholic. We've
been dating for, a year and three months now, and talking about religion the whole
way through. It came to the point where a very learned bible professor told us that
to decide between Catholicism and Protestantism you have to decide which "voice" to
to follow: either the Bible, or the Bible coupled with tradition.
And I realized that I did not know enough about tradition to disregard it.
I owe it to Truth to try to get to know what the voice of tradition sounds like b4
I throw it out the window at least. So I signed up for the class.
We are working through the Catichism, the book of official catholic doctrine.
And it is here that I met Kate, a forty something single women who is a self proclaimed
reformed-lesbian, survivor of sexual abuse, and demon possession. All my other
classmates are normal but she is always talking about how she goes about blessing
everything in her house with holy water, and bathed her legs in holy oil when she
was sick. (she had some illness in her legs where she was going to have to get shots
all her life) She talks a lot and is very superstitious. The first lesson I found her quite
annoying. But she reminds me to keep an open mind, for surely I cannot disprove
her claim of demon pocession, I used to think I believed in demons in fact-- but my
initial reaction to her was "yeah right, you're just paranoid and probably manic
depressive" which, she might be. I don't know. Anyway as annoying as she was
at first I am, grudgingly, learning from her. And about her sick legs-- she got word
from the doctor today-- the illness has completely disappeared and he has no
idea why.
The Homeless Church:
ever since I read "The Irresistible Revolution" I have wanted to cultivate a
relationship with homeless. So, one day I was riding my bike past this pretty
park in the heart of Chattanooga I happened to spy a large blond woman with big
hips and a big mouth setting up a table of food. I pulled over and asked her what
was going on. "We're about to have church" she told me. This is Mrs. Carol, a
street ministries preacher. So intrigued I hung around. A skinny old black man in
black clothes and stinking like nobody's business came up to me and gave me a big
bear hug, and told me Jesus loved me. He introduced me to his friend, whom he
called my brother, and told me that he was my father ( in Christ Jesus )
This is Charles. (He's in the hospital right now, a car ran into him as he was
crossing the street one night, he'll live but I don't know if he'll look the same)
I met tons of people, Andy the former prostitute turned Street Poet, who shares
my passion for reading, Mary the stroke victim who says the same things to me
every time I see her, "You know Jesus saved my life, and I ain't never drunk no
drink or smoked and when people hurt me I don't never curse them." She tells me
this and then excuses herself to go have a smoke. I met Tennessee, who can tell
you things your history book only knows second hand. The man knows how to
tell a story really seems to have LIVED his generations history. I met Dennis last
week. He'd just got out of the hospital. A couple of guys had beat him up and robbed
him of the three dollars he owned. The hospital gave him, a homeless man a
prescription for head trauma but he planned to try and fill it and sell it on the street
for money. I met Wanda who had six written violations for panhandling for money
food and cigarettes, and countless others who had been sent to jail for
sleeping on the street- being homeless. Another man told me how the police in
Memphis had thrown him over the bridge into the Mississippi river. Somehow he got
out and ended up near a gas station. He offered a man there the money he had to
pay for the man's gas if the man would give him a lift back to the bench where the
police had first picked him up. The man drove him so fast they out stripped the police
and when that same police man came around back to the bench, there was the
same homeless guy, in the exact same spot. the police man was dumbfounded
that's the funny part.
the scary part is the police man threatened him with his life if he didn't leave town.
so now he's in Chattanooga. I think the homeless have taught me more than all of
my classes.
And now the final religious oddity: The Hippie Commune, officially known as the 12
Tribes. They haven't exactly taught me anything I didn't already know but they
give me hope. The members, formed in the 70's by reformed hippies all live together
sharing everything--
in fact to join
you have to give up all of your possessions and devote your life to loving people--
That is why I cannot stay away, they are always brimming with love. Ever
since I read "The Irresistible Revolution" I've wanted to join a community like this.
In fact I've been looking for something like this my whole life. There's just the problem
of their doctrine. It is a lot like old fashioned conservative church of Christ doctrine
from the little I've learned about it, and it is hard enough taking a firm stance on a
doctrine while I'm still trying to process my lessons from the Catholic class, AND
keep an open mind.
I've not yet reached a thesis on any of these teachers of mine; R.C.I.A., the homeless
and the Hippies. but I'm learning a lot. I was thinking in fact of furthering this education
by making a road trip to Philadelphia to see the community described in the
"Irresistible Revolution" (if anybody is interested in coming with me tell me )
I remember when, in the summer I would pray to God that college would be an
adventure. how I'd secretly rejoice when people warned me that college would
shake me-- 'Bring on the earthquakes!" I said, "I want to see and explore the new
world it will unearth.
Now that I'm here its all a little overwhelming,... but I'm loving every second of it!
secular. In the middle of campus you'll be hard pressed to find a " cool" reputation among Christians, except within their own little circles.
The fads in the middle of campus are smoking, chanting "Obama-Obama!",
smoking, scanning the ground for precious quarters, smoking, going to frat parties designed to get the girls into the most lecherous costumes available, and, you guessed it!;
questioning God (closely followed by smoking). There was even a seminar by a professor here lectured about how nobody in their right mind would want to go to heaven.
But on the fringes of the campus you'll find something different. There are actually,
a lot of christian groups here. I made the mistake of trying to visit every single one.
I did not suceed but I got at least half way there. Now I have friends in several
different groups, all of whom invite me to their events. I love God but I don't like
being that busy so I've had to turn a lot of them down. I'm involved with three major
ones: CRU, Young Life, and the Christian Student Center. They are the usual mix
of different denominational cultures you'd run into among the Memphis Youth
Groups.
But here is where I digress from the usual. I will list them in order of their oddity:
- R.C.I.A.
- Homeless Church
- The hippie commune
About R.C.I.A., - its a catholic class for people who either want to become or are just
curious about Catholicism. Most of you know that my boyfriend is Catholic. We've
been dating for, a year and three months now, and talking about religion the whole
way through. It came to the point where a very learned bible professor told us that
to decide between Catholicism and Protestantism you have to decide which "voice" to
to follow: either the Bible, or the Bible coupled with tradition.
And I realized that I did not know enough about tradition to disregard it.
I owe it to Truth to try to get to know what the voice of tradition sounds like b4
I throw it out the window at least. So I signed up for the class.
We are working through the Catichism, the book of official catholic doctrine.
And it is here that I met Kate, a forty something single women who is a self proclaimed
reformed-lesbian, survivor of sexual abuse, and demon possession. All my other
classmates are normal but she is always talking about how she goes about blessing
everything in her house with holy water, and bathed her legs in holy oil when she
was sick. (she had some illness in her legs where she was going to have to get shots
all her life) She talks a lot and is very superstitious. The first lesson I found her quite
annoying. But she reminds me to keep an open mind, for surely I cannot disprove
her claim of demon pocession, I used to think I believed in demons in fact-- but my
initial reaction to her was "yeah right, you're just paranoid and probably manic
depressive" which, she might be. I don't know. Anyway as annoying as she was
at first I am, grudgingly, learning from her. And about her sick legs-- she got word
from the doctor today-- the illness has completely disappeared and he has no
idea why.
The Homeless Church:
ever since I read "The Irresistible Revolution" I have wanted to cultivate a
relationship with homeless. So, one day I was riding my bike past this pretty
park in the heart of Chattanooga I happened to spy a large blond woman with big
hips and a big mouth setting up a table of food. I pulled over and asked her what
was going on. "We're about to have church" she told me. This is Mrs. Carol, a
street ministries preacher. So intrigued I hung around. A skinny old black man in
black clothes and stinking like nobody's business came up to me and gave me a big
bear hug, and told me Jesus loved me. He introduced me to his friend, whom he
called my brother, and told me that he was my father ( in Christ Jesus )
This is Charles. (He's in the hospital right now, a car ran into him as he was
crossing the street one night, he'll live but I don't know if he'll look the same)
I met tons of people, Andy the former prostitute turned Street Poet, who shares
my passion for reading, Mary the stroke victim who says the same things to me
every time I see her, "You know Jesus saved my life, and I ain't never drunk no
drink or smoked and when people hurt me I don't never curse them." She tells me
this and then excuses herself to go have a smoke. I met Tennessee, who can tell
you things your history book only knows second hand. The man knows how to
tell a story really seems to have LIVED his generations history. I met Dennis last
week. He'd just got out of the hospital. A couple of guys had beat him up and robbed
him of the three dollars he owned. The hospital gave him, a homeless man a
prescription for head trauma but he planned to try and fill it and sell it on the street
for money. I met Wanda who had six written violations for panhandling for money
food and cigarettes, and countless others who had been sent to jail for
sleeping on the street- being homeless. Another man told me how the police in
Memphis had thrown him over the bridge into the Mississippi river. Somehow he got
out and ended up near a gas station. He offered a man there the money he had to
pay for the man's gas if the man would give him a lift back to the bench where the
police had first picked him up. The man drove him so fast they out stripped the police
and when that same police man came around back to the bench, there was the
same homeless guy, in the exact same spot. the police man was dumbfounded
that's the funny part.
the scary part is the police man threatened him with his life if he didn't leave town.
so now he's in Chattanooga. I think the homeless have taught me more than all of
my classes.
And now the final religious oddity: The Hippie Commune, officially known as the 12
Tribes. They haven't exactly taught me anything I didn't already know but they
give me hope. The members, formed in the 70's by reformed hippies all live together
sharing everything--
in fact to join
you have to give up all of your possessions and devote your life to loving people--
That is why I cannot stay away, they are always brimming with love. Ever
since I read "The Irresistible Revolution" I've wanted to join a community like this.
In fact I've been looking for something like this my whole life. There's just the problem
of their doctrine. It is a lot like old fashioned conservative church of Christ doctrine
from the little I've learned about it, and it is hard enough taking a firm stance on a
doctrine while I'm still trying to process my lessons from the Catholic class, AND
keep an open mind.
I've not yet reached a thesis on any of these teachers of mine; R.C.I.A., the homeless
and the Hippies. but I'm learning a lot. I was thinking in fact of furthering this education
by making a road trip to Philadelphia to see the community described in the
"Irresistible Revolution" (if anybody is interested in coming with me tell me )
I remember when, in the summer I would pray to God that college would be an
adventure. how I'd secretly rejoice when people warned me that college would
shake me-- 'Bring on the earthquakes!" I said, "I want to see and explore the new
world it will unearth.
Now that I'm here its all a little overwhelming,... but I'm loving every second of it!
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