Curses and Blessings

So yesterday was the redo of my postponed friend birthday party.
It started out allright. Dema, Daina, Becca and Emily all came over we ate frozen pizza and hung out and talked.
Daina was the first person with the piniata. It was on a levy system so I was pulling the piniata out of harms way whenever she tried to hit it. On her third swing though she knocked his head clean open- Literally. The helmet was cut cleanly away from the face mask, and all of Vador's candied brains lay open to the sunshine. It looked better than the fat white guy that originally was supposed to be in there. We took pictures of some of us wearing the Vador hat. I need to put those up here.
My dog, funnily enough was scared of the piniata. Even after it was smacked open she was still nervous about it.
We were all upstairs when my mom came and told us we needed to go outside. She looked terrible. We found my Dad waiting by Becca's car with a tall teenager. He apparently had run into Becca's car while trying to pull out of his drive way. Did I mention that Becca's car had just recovered from a simular hit a few weeks ago? We had to wait around a few hours until the cops got all the paperwork done. Becca had to stay outside in the heat to answer questions about insurance. He parents drove thirty minuetes to my house to make sure everything was ok. Becca's mom, who has anxiety problems, wanted to take Becca home but we convinced her to let Becca stay. We finally got to Lazer tag around 8:30.
Let me just say that I have the worst shooting aim ever. Of course it might have somthing to do with the fact that niether of my guns had a lazer sight. Dema, on the other hand completely kicked our buts, even when she had a gun without a lazer sight. She had the highest score over all for both games! She cheated a little bit though, for some reason her gun never ran out of bullets. The Collierville lazer tag is pretty crappy. They don't even have proper air conditioning!
Even though I'm a bad shooter somthing about lazer tag makes me feel so cool and suave. I strut like an idiot with a lazer gun, it just makes me feel like the coolest action hero ever. I should never join the army big guns go to my head apparently. Dema on the other hand could be a russian snyper if she wanted.
We took a break between the two games and after the second one Becca said she needed to sit down and do her breathing exercises but that she would be ok. Even when she started feeling dizzy I was convinced that it was just the after effects of running so hard. It wasn't until she started loosing feelings in her limbs and people started comeing up that I realized how serious this was. Maybe I didn't want to realize but that was selfish of me. I should have called Dad for her inhaler instantly. She had to go to the hospital. I had to watch them strap her to a stretcher and put her in the ambulance. I still feel like such an idiot. I'm sorry if I scared anybody there. When things get tough like that I focus on one thing at a time.
Becca's ok now but I guess that rules out lazer tag. We can still go bowling though.
Dema and Daina had to leave afterward but Brooke came over and she and Emily were really awesome. They made me laugh. I don't think they'll realize how much help they were. Without them I'd have stayed in that emotional trainwreck for a few more hours. We stayed up till 3am and watched 27 Dresses, which is very funny and sweet-- one of the perfect chick flick movies. Not so melodramatic as the Notebook or somthing like that.
The next morning Mom asked me to go to church with the family but by that time I was so worn out I just needed some time alone to cry so I went to Incarnation. Going to mass always feels like a spiritual bath. I come out feeling all loose and refreshed, as if I really did leave it all at the altar.
I went to my first catholic small groups meeting today too.
Over half my small group members are converts! And alot of them are very Biblically educated so the conversation was that wonderful mix of enlightenment and edification. The deacon in my small group was converted by his wife who became catholic after they had been married several years. These people were so comforting and encouraging. Thank you God for making me so prosperous!
One part of the conversation really struck me. We were talking about tithing and about how God will take care of us no matter what. All that "give us our DAILY bread" not anything more or less, and "I shall walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear no evil for though art with me" The idea is that you are still walking through the valley of death, but the promise is that God will carry you through it.
"But there are christians who are starving in Africa" I said, "surely God doesn't mean that no christian will starve I mean there are some pretty tough stuff in this world."
But no, they reminded me that no christian in the CHURCH could really become homeless or starving becuz the community of believers, the church, God's hands on earth, would take care of them. "I mean really," said one woman, "do you think any of us could become homeless?" meaning that we'd obviously take one another into our homes. The catholic church is perhaps one of the few institutions in the world capable of doing that. All the money from every parrish goes to help every other parrish in the world. There are world wide programs to help the poor and suffering in the church. The Catholic church is the worlds biggest charity program. This all washed over me when she said this.
"Silly Alyssa, you were thinking like a Protestant"
I have community now! Even though I don't know these people, even though this was their first time meeting me these people in that room and world wide will carry me, and I will carry them.
I don't know how to adequately express my joy on a blog when I whisper wonderingly to myself.
"I have Community. I have The Church!"

Sun Shine

I have the best guy in the world. He made me breakfast, egg and ham and cheese on a sandwich,
We watched the last half of terminator 2 and walked my dog. He gave me present- Viva La Vida and a mixed cd of various artists that I like and he wanted to introduce me to; Springsteen, Peter Bjorn and John, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Spoon, Modest Mouse, and Beck.
Then he took me to see the movie Terminator Salvation, which was a very good action movie but eliot and I are in accord that the plot of the terminator series could be so much more deep and epic and philosophical if it wanted to be. Then he got me icecream at Ben and Jerry's. That part might have been one of the best. We had to pick up his mom from work after that.
At dinner time we were going to go to Edo's but it was closed so we went to Do's instead in midtown-- very good nicely priced sushi place. We split a lunchbox meal, it was really good. Before dinner he pulled out 2 other presents; Maison Ikkoku, an anime series of his he liked (I had asked him just a week b4 to suggest to me some good anime to get into) and a book called Living Abroad in Japan, which we are reading together!
Then we went back to my house and just read and talked together for the next few hours. Before he left he pulled out one last present- a very thick very big collection of Ray Bradbury stories. I squealed like a middle schooler when I opened it. Bradbury is one of my most favorite authors.
I feel like an uterly spoiled incredibley happy three year old. And that is how I feel on my very first day of being 20!

Tankini at 20

It makes me feel like a slut
the swimsuit my mother bought me for my birthday
nice material though. Wish they made racing suits with material as thick as that, but its probly just the same material double layered.
The top could pass for a shirt with the proper jacket

ugh

thats all I feel like when I put it on. Am I overreacting?
still

ugh

Especially in my family, birthdays seem especially designed for the embarressment of the born

This year's haul
-2 dresses, one long and one short
-1 blouse
-1 tankini
-1 pair of cute unreasonably painful red shoes
-1 pair of misfit pants
-1 suprisingly good purse
-How I Met Your Mother Season 2


So I'm 20 now. When I was young marriage was always talked about as something for the 20-22 year olds. Its odd but, if I had the money now, it wouldn't seem like a bad option.
Added to that change I'm working full time now, and since I've come back from school my parents have turned up annoying. They've never really been so before. I'm a very patient person.
At the moment I made these transitions in thinking and lifestyle it felt weird and surreal but once I'd made them, I didn't feel any different.
I miss going to church with my family though. Things were easier then, and while the people at Incarnation are very welcoming it hasn't been long enough to really get to know anybody, so its still kinda lonley sometimes. Actually the lonliness comes over at my house more often than at Church.
I was glad to see Jason though, and Kevin and Megan and Brandon, even if he did disappear right b4 lunch!
Technically I turn 20 at 1am tommarow but I'm not sure what I'll be doing. Eliot's taking somewhere but he won't tell me anything except to dress comfortably and tell my parents I'll be gone all day. I don't think tommarow will be so wearing.

Recent Events

Recent events prompted my mother to spend all day outside weeding the garden and bemoaning her pitiful tomatoes (again)
My father hooks the fridge up to a wire and his car battery
I pack my books in tight on the shelf to avoid warping
the streamers hang limply from the ceiling, now so low and wet with humidity that they brush your head and are beginning to curl- embelms of a postponed birthday party
I only hope Darth Vador doesn't melt
My house is without power
no airconditioning, no working oven, no heated water for the tub
We are holding up inside my granmother's house.
Darth Vador is the piniata I bought for my b-day party, now postponed to next week.

In good news though Jason Ashlock is coming to Grace Crossing Church for a visit of some kind. I want him to know I'm Catholic but how do you tell someone that in a room full of a 100 other ppl wanting to see him? He'll give a nice speech regardless.

My job is shaping up nicely. I work 8-4 Tues-Saterdays. Its weird being a working girl but I like my job, just wish I could dress more comfortably. Crocs is making high healed sandles now, need to look into that. Its harder making friends at work than at school, less free time at work but no homework so :D!

summer plans

My summer is not the super-action-jesus I told myself it would be
It's not even boringly productive since I am without a job
Instead I find myself washing dishes, folding laundry and cooking
I need to step it up and work on my story, on my scholarships and jappanese but instead i find my education to be in Metal Gear (SNIPERBATTLESAREAWESOME) the Terminator and some good classic scifi novels. I bought a set of Asimov and Scott Card books at McKays before I left school.
Cooking is fun too.
Its also official. I am going to Knoxville!!
Dad said he'd pay for it, at least this semester since it looks like I missed the deadline for scholarships. So long as I keep my grades up though I'm confident I'll get it next semester.
Answering people's questions about Catholicism has been surprisingly easy. I was a bit worried I'd not know how to answer but its been okay. After 3 feet of debate in replys on facebook I realized, "Hey, I can Do this!" and immediatly called up the little train that could to eat crow.
I still need to be doing more writing, so I figured this at least could warm me up
yay useless blogs about nothing!
Summer Plan List
-HennaParty(yay!)
-my 20th birthday (note2self-START PLANNING NOW!)
-HARRYPOTTER!!
-2nd year anniversary with the bestestist boyfriend
-family vacation, possibly to DC
- need to plan somthing @ pickwick
-study jappanese
-WRITE MORE!!
-start on reading through all the early christian documents
-tease eliot's cat