Progress- the unfair race where only God has feet

After I finally told my parents I was catholic, the first two conversations I had about religion with my parents, I didn't get a chance to say much. They were more like lectures than conversations.

It's been hard to have a deep conversation with them.
Being the good kid seems to have back fired on me. Neither of us can handle my "rebellion" if you can call it that.

There is so much hurt on both sides of this, and I haven't known what to do about it!
When they came to visit for parents weekend I had a lot of hope. For the most part it was nice. We talked, and had fun. It was good to be around them again. They even offered to come to church with me! (that fell thru due to a long game and sleeping in late but still!)
Its just when I tried to explain to my mother why she couldn't take communion in a Catholic church, the theology behind it and all that, she took it as a personal offense, and seemed to think it meant that we beleive only Catholics go to heaven. She got hurt, upset, and started spouting angry comments about things Catholics 'supossedly' believe and wouldn't let me speak. That was a bad day.

I've been calling them less often now. After bad days like that I just want to hole myself up in Knoxville with friends and school and I try my hardest to forget I even came from Memphis. It gets too depressing sometimes. Some craddle catholic friends tell me how brave I must be, and it feels nice to be complimented, even when I know its not true.
Converting isn't "heroic", it isn't "cool". It's just the shitty places life takes you through.

Today though it wasn't so shitty after all. I finally called my mom and dad. I told my dad how much it meant to me that they offered to come to church with me, and I apoligized to Mom for inadvertantly hurting her feelings. And you know what? We actually had a good conversation about the theology of the Eucharist/Communion and about Church traditions in general. It was really encouraging. It wasn't as awkward as I thought. It was civil, we both heard each other's opinions. I don't know how it happened.

Going through stuff like this, this summer has made me realize how little things depend on me. I've done practically nothing, I've not had much of a chance to regardless, but somehow, God has made progress in their hearts. I just stood by and got to watch.

The next bad day I hope I won't act like such a wuss. I hope I'll have more confidence in God's capability. Funny how that's so hard to grasp.

Thank you so much Lord, for this blessing!!!